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The technical description of the DNA vaccine is over your head, but the basics are thrilling.

Two solid improvements: speed and accuracy. Think 20 times faster; your error rate drops to .01%.

There is an automatic signal when a problem you're working on can't resolve. Your left ear lobe burns. This informs you, you won't be able to reach a useful conclusion.

The new mind you're getting contains several basic elements:

157,893 subconscious generalizations (or premises) deemed to be truthful;

A subconscious deductive logic program;

An instantly accessible inner technical library adjusted to your job.

The library automatically generates, collates, and summarizes the best available information re the problem you're working on, in line with the previously installed generalizations (premises) and the logic program.

It produces an answer, a solution. Your solution.

You can opt for a social program that will enable you to shift out of work-mode and communicate effectively with colleagues, friends, and family.

The left-ear-lobe burn signal will go live whenever social conversations touch on controversial issues. This is your cue to back away.

Your new mind will be monitored 24/7 from a node that ensures proper functioning. If repairs are needed, a partial shutdown will deploy. Corrections normally take less than three hours.

There is also a bullpen function. Persistent questions for which there is no available answer; personal reflections and contemplations; and any memory of social, political, financial, or existential claustrophobia will all be funneled to a dead space where they will linger and progressively fade.

An important Grand Slam Package will translate thoughts once deemed to be creative into a sludge-mesh, where the velocity of intra-transmission will slow to one synaptic flash per hour. In other words, you'll achieve close to a zero rate on imagination.

At the perimeter of your new mind is the Cattle Farm. Slow moving, meaningless, and random tautologies circulate there, efficiently blocking exit from the overall programmed space of consciousness.

You're centered where you're most needed, where you can perform usefully and swiftly.

Throughout the day, you'll think thoughts that trigger a carefully groomed and modulated pleasure-quotient. The effect will stimulate you to conclude you are: satisfied.

Thought-forms called Border Collies will continuously roam the space of your mind and organize stray electrical effects, bringing them into symmetrical, simplistic, geometric wholes. These wholes will automatically constitute your 'aesthetic sense.'

At night, while you sleep, regions of mind unreachable by the DNA vaccine will naturally expend extraordinary energies of outrage, resentment, resistance, and pure hatred. This is quite normal.

Scooper Drones will siphon off those energies and their attendant emotional wildfires, and beam them directly into the minds of our soldiers on the battlefield, to help them wreak destruction on our enemies.

It's estimated that, with your new mind in tow, you'll require full overhauls every three years. During these five-week periods, you'll experience total shutdown.

Your families, friends, and co-workers will be notified in advance.

The basic cost of the vaccine is merely your consent to collaborate and cooperate with your new mind.

The protocol: two shots, 12 days apart; three weeks of rest to orient to the Change; then you rejoin the world.

People who receive the vaccine recognize each other instantly.

They occasionally meet and greet with the phrase, "Pleasantly composed of data."

As yet we don't know why, but we're testing several hypotheses.